What did I learn that makes me the person I am today? Where did I have to start? How do I learn the same as I do now from a life dedicated to film? How do I get out of the house, not to the cinema but to the studio where I could spend more time with my family and not be a burden on myself?
The film was originally going to be titled ‘The Truth About the Sun’. On the first day of shooting in Brazil on January 5, 2002, I told my assistant, ‘I’m sorry but I don’t want to play that character anymore.’ This was a statement which has taken me a long time to come to terms with. This was a decision I made that I felt no one else in my profession – or anywhere else I lived and worked – could make at the height of my confidence and creative capability. But, at the same time, I was trying to push myself beyond the comfort level I’d had, the safety I’d established, with other people and the expectations I’d placed on myself. I realized I didn’t know the language of filmmaking anywhere at all. I wasn’t going to be able to learn it at all. I think if I can’t be the actor I always wanted to be, I would fail.
[on her career as a film actor] When a man has to watch every frame until the end, there can only be one winner. We all have to work so hard to give the best performance, we have to work so hard to get up in the morning. You can’t have time off. You can’t have time to go back to school to study how to make films. I was in the thick of the action, but my acting career was over. It was the right time for me to move on after so long as a professional actor in Hollywood.
[on her early relationship with Michael Jackson] I don’t think I was a good influence; I wasn’t a big fan of his music. I was only going with it because I wanted to be as close to Michael as I could be physically. I found him really cute; he had a big beautiful smile and his eyes were very bright, but I was too scared of them not to be in a relationship with him.
I have no regrets, so I really can’t think of anything. I think what I’ve done, with my career moving forward, is been absolutely fantastic. I have enjoyed so many different experiences and I’ve got to tell you,