I have no idea. But if anyone in the world can pull off a monologue for a living, it’s Tom Cruise. As the star of such an iconic and successful film franchise as Mission Impossible, Cruise may be the ultimate ventriloquist, but he certainly isn’t the oldest. The oldest ventriloquist is a 92-year-old woman in Ohio.
Tiffany DeAngelo was born in 1917 and died of pneumonia on Aug. 16. She is also the oldest ventriloquist of her generation — even older than Cruise, who turned 90 in June.
Here are some of her favorite lines. Enjoy.
The age of my breath
A man’s wife may kiss him, but the first kiss is his wife
If you want to be loved and be beloved, tell an old joke
If you want to be young and be old, go home to the haystack
If you want to be young and be old, go home to the circus
And if you want to be young and be married, don’t try to be an old fool
If you want to be the person you really are, then do your best to be who you were always supposed to be
And you know what? If you’re having a tough time, remember that you’re not your brother. You’re not your father. You don’t have to be somebody else. That person will always be you
And I’m telling you, there’s no one else but myself
You mustn’t get up
You’ve got to keep up
You’ve got to keep up
You’ve got to keep up
Do it
Do it
Do it
Do it
Do it
Don’t go down it now
Do you know it’s not too late?
Do you know it’s not too late?
It doesn’t matter how bad it hurts
Do you know it’s not too late?
It doesn’t matter how bad it hurts
Do you know it’s not too late?
Do you know it’s not too late?
Do you know it’s not too late?
If I knew what it meant, it meant happiness!
If you want to live your life, you must be able to laugh
What if life had meaning? If you had it, you would never be sad
I’ll never say